The Viper is Flown From the Seated Position

Spitfire has a grumbly Kittlen on their hands.

Why am I grumbly?

A couple of reasons:

1:  Severe case of vertigo.

2: Too sick to DJ 4/5 sets this past week

3: Feeling ganged up on

4: Spitfire has to work

Okay… let’s attack these one at a time.  First up: Spitfire working.

Them’s gotta bring in the cash, right?  Anyway they know how, right? Spitfire has an assignment and instead of the normal 2 weeks to complete it, cause, of course, holidays and stuff, it has to be done on Wednesday.  I’ve been staying logged in so they can come and go at will and cuddle me to de-stress.

After all, a client’s short-sightedness on their part does not mean an emergency on Spitfire’s part.  I suggested the “pain in the butt” surcharge, and the “asshole” tax.  Long story short: when a client mucks up and expects you to fix it, you charge extra – from 5% to 100%.  Learned this from someone I used to deal with who had his own speciality trucking business.

Okay… the other three… let’s lump these together, first with some history…

Yes, I have been having severe vertigo and nausea for (now) just over a week.  I was born with tinnitus, and have always had vertigo and dizzy spells for as long as I could remember.  Sometimes I would outright hallucinate with the spell.  Lying in my bed and feeling the entire world spin off of one of my other axis.  It was what was my normal. I would get random place-your-bet spins of vertigo and more, even as my ears rang like crazy.

My ears once filled up with fluid for three months and my *cough* wonderful doctor wanted to “wait it out” and see if it would go away.  That was the same year I ended up with pneumonia for months and more.

It happened again in my early twenties and for three weeks, I was so dizzy, I had to go upstairs at an angle and more.

My real life loves how he can hold me in his arms, and cuddle me and _wham_ I’m falling to the ground from a dizzy spell.  He thinks they’re cute and caused by a psychological trigger, not physical.

I know that the ear ringing is actually my heartbeat or blood pressure I’m hearing. I can hear when my blood pressure rises, and more.  Just as I know the trippy stuff I see when I stare at something long enough is actually the white blood cells in the capillaries and stuff in my retinas, not actually stuff moving, but it’s taken me years to find out, on my own, what was what.  No doctor or other medical professionals would listen to me.

I had a root canal almost two weeks ago. I think something the dentist did may have jarred my eustachian tube and prevented it from draining.  The first thing that I heard that gave me any idea that I was dealing with a vertigo issue was the sloshing of liquid in my ear.  Two days later, I was finally able to see my doctor, and by then, the private tilt-a-whirl was in full form.  So long as I keep my head vertical, I’m “okay,” but if I angle it, or turn it left or right too fast, or, heaven forbid, I go horizontal….

Weeeeeeeeeeeee free ride on the private roller coaster of nauseating doom!

I’ve been sleeping near a bucket just in case.

The amount of dizziness and nausea has changed over the last week or so.  More nausea, less dizzy, more dizzy, less nausea, more of each, less of each.  Almost random.  I get piercing pain in one or both ear at random.  Loud noises right now set off dizzy spells, and downright hurt my ears.  My kids decided to enact vocal warfare on each other and I nearly had to crawl to a toilet to help my stomach voice it’s displeasure at them.  No, I haven’t actually vomited.  I’ve come real close.

Which came to the DJ things.

I was DJ on Thursday cause Unity wanted me to, but, after an hour or more, I became so nauseated and dizzy, I had to stop almost mid-song.  I warned them that I was resetting the radio, and switched to another station and left the sim. Too many bright blinking lights – yah, part and parcel of vertigo, I’m sensitive to blinking lights.  I logged out, did my best not to hurl, and found the soft spot in my bed, feeling absolutely like a failure because I pushed too hard to stay awake for Spitfire.

Yes, Spitfire gave me the “you’re not a failure” lecture, and warned me about doing too much.

By the time Spitfire’s set was done at the Old Guard on Friday, I realized I was too sick to DJ that night for YMO, so I cancelled my set.  Oh yes, here I go, feeling like a total hozer for letting people down.  I also cancelled my Old Guard set the next day, but I still had to suffer through Spitfire’s set, and a guest performer.

Halfway through the guest performer’s set, I wanted to crash.  I had already solved one problem, worked on solving another, and, even as I danced on the bar, I wanted to vomit and worse.  I pushed through to her end, even when I realized I really shouldn’t have, and had a chit chat with Unity later that evening about something I desperately needed.

Unity used a pre-programmed push to help me sink into a trance.  I needed some bubblehead time, and it lasted until I found the soft spot in my bed per Spitfire’s order.

I woke up feeling worse, and Spitfire, oh yes, my loving dominant, got into an argument with me about whether or not I could DJ.

See, I believe in “the viper is flown from the seated position.”  I believe that so long as I can sit at my computer, I can DJ.  The problem is, going back and forth between two screens was making me dizzy.  It still is.

Ganged up on by Spitfire and Bryan, I gave in and let Spitfire do my CFNM mansion set.  Not like I had much choice in that matter.  Spitfire asked for someone to do my WHIP set that night for me too.  I felt like a heel cause I couldn’t manage it.  Focussing on one screen was bad enough.

So, once the set was over, I went for a nap.

I woke up sweating.

Guess who finally broke into a fever?

You got it.  ME.

Guess who is still arguing with her Owner about whether or not she should be allowed to DJ?

Three guesses and the first two don’t count.

I have Xaara to do on Monday, then four days off again, before I have to DJ.  If I allow Spitfire my Xaara set, that will mean that Wednesday, when they go to bed, will have done over 12 hrs of djing in one week.

Yes, they’re my back-up and my fill-in, as I am theirs, but this just isn’t sitting right with me, damnit.  I want to do my sets cause they’re my responsibility.

So, as you can see, the argument is going to keep on going, no matter how sick I get!

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