Schadenfreude

This won’t be the last time I post here about my previous dom.  I have years of posts to go through, and repost here, and for the last two years or so, almost every post was about him.  Those are being reposted here, because I can, so expect to see more.

Yesterday, Coyote made me aware that there was a posting from my/our previous dom, Ezee, on his facebook that I should be made aware of.  I went and looked.

“Single again,” the post said.  “I’m officially done with this fkn planet.  I feel destroyed.:(“

I had a schadenfreude moment then. I was off on my bet about how long it was going to be before Ezee destroyed his new shiny.  It was about six weeks.  I had bet two. Except she wasn’t destroyed.  She had clued in to something I took two years to clue in to, and had dropped his sorry arse.

Ezee expects those around him to pay his way.  Sure, he’ll stay up with you, as you pour your heart out, but he’ll batt those baby blues of his and you don’t know why, but you’re all but handing over your wallet, cause he needs something.  Ezee always needs something, and never wanted to work for it.  Skipping shifts on Second Life and making me have to do them, and then expecting a 50% cut of my tips – well, that didn’t happen.  If Ezee wasn’t doing the shift, he wasn’t getting any of my tips.  Nor was I going to host for him.

I had to reach out to her.  The people replying to his post were dragging her down.  She was being harassed in the post, and that wasn’t right.

So I waited for her to reply.

She did.

We compared notes.

I told her she was stronger than she thought.

I showed her proof of how I had handed him money too.  She was relieved, in a way, that she had dodged a bullet early on.  I had paid for his premium account, for the land he wanted to turn into a club, for all sorts of stuff.  I haven’t done the full math of everything I spent for him, or cause of him, including the money I sent him.

I’m hoping I left her feeling good about herself, instead of the devastated I felt when I had to all but banish him.

I have this feeling, Ezee was after her, when I was still officially his, and hadn’t walked away from him.  Back when my heart was shattering to sand.  The words she was saying clued me in that he was hiding stuff from both of us.  Ezee got her to pay for things he should have been paying for himself.

Ezee likes to believe that his internet radio broadcasting company, Ezeeposse FM,  is still his.  There’s a slight problem with that – I paid for the stream he was using.  With that financial backing gone, he has no stream that I know of.  No staff either – both of the djs that Ezee had employed have left.  Coyote walked away 6 months before I did, because she was tired of his games.  Coyote and I are now the core of Mooncheeks Music.

I still cry out for him at night.  Spitfire knows this, and is working with me to get over Ezee.  I still miss him, but, if he tried to come back and claim me, Ezee wouldn’t get that far.  He lost the chance when he wouldn’t provide proof he was in the hospital, or that his cousin died.

The sad part is, I don’t think Ezee sees any of this as his fault. Until he is able to admit to himself how he screwed up, and where and what he has to do to improve himself, he’ll just keep on repeating the pattern: finding vulnerable women to open up to him, hand him money, and then abandon when he’s no longer getting what he wants.

I wish I knew where I could find Ezee’s previous girl.  I’d love to have a talk with her.

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