Changes

This is kinda sorta in parallel with Spitfire’s post of Being an Alien in Second Life

Spitfire was working on one of her blog posts when she gave me a sneak peak, so I took a look at it after asking her how it was going.

“It needs a final bit, about what the future holds for me,” she stated as I drew lines on her chest.

“How about the possibility of becoming a male avatar to appease the second sub, so she’ll want to submit to you too,” I stated, “or about how I could change my avatar to match yours cause of the ‘pregnancy’?”

“That would be tricky.  I could look male, but I don’t think male,” Spitfire replied.  No, she doesn’t.  Nor does she truly think female.  I’ve made errors during our roleplay together, and so has she.  She acts more gender neutral, than feminine, at least from my point of view, and even her “maleness” isn’t male, per se.  It’s closer to an alien probe than anything a man might swing between his legs.

“It would convince that other sub to sub to you,” I tell her, as I lean over to kiss her nose.  “To me, you’re fine no matter what avatar you use.  It’s between your ears that I care about.  Your avatar could have tentacles for docking with me for all I care.  Or mating for that matter.”

There is a person we both know, and care a whole hell of a lot about, who really needs us, but won’t sub to either of us, because neither of us is quintessentially male.  I’m female.  I feel female, and tomboy.  That’s not male enough.  Spitfire’s gender fluidity also means she’s not male enough either.

“What about your avatar?” She asks me, “would you be okay with becoming a blue, rainbow-spotted awien?”

“If it was stars, not spots, yes,” I answer, going on to change into my black spacey skin.  “I like this skin, but I feel like I’m wearing blackface or worse, unless I’m doing my statue shtick. ”

“These stars aren’t just a mark of your dominance,” I tell her, “but of how much I love you.  I don’t take those off.”

She agreed with me, as I continued on, babbling away like a child. “If I found or created star tattoos that covered my entire body, I’d wear them.”

Then the problem of the sub we both love came up again.  If Spitfire changed her avatar for the sub in question, would that be bottom-topping, or meeting that sub’s needs?  Would it do more harm for Spitfire to do so, even if it helped the sub in question?  Spitfire has worked so long and so hard to get her balance, I’m worried that helping the sub by becoming what the sub visually and mentally needs in order to sub to Spitfire, would destroy the awien I’ve grown pretty damn fond of.

We went back and forth, discussing how the sub needs a visibly male avatar, with male emoting characteristics, and more.  Essentially, the sub needs a body with a big dick, who isn’t afraid to use it.

I debate about domming them myself, musing over the concept.  Except, I know that it won’t work.  If I try to domme them, it could ruin our friendship of over half a decade.  Nobody wants that.

Spitfire’s mentorship skills came into play, as we discussed various potential doms to introduce the sub to.  Unfortunately, on some sims, male avatars are hard to come by.  After all, a feminine arse is something far more pleasing to look at, than a male one.

We decide on a course of action.  There’s a meeting place I can take the sub to.  Maybe, just maybe, we’ll find someone there for them.

Maybe… if the sub doesn’t do a bad spiral before we have a chance to help them.

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At one point in her blog, Spitfire mentions “There was one incident, however, that nearly derailed me. I’d taken to visiting a sim where Kittlen would regularly DJ. It wasn’t a BDSM sim but did require that males were naked at all times while females could wear whatever they liked. Most folks there didn’t mind my appearance, but one day a member of staff took umbrage, pointing me to a section in the club rules that stated that only ‘human’ avatars were welcome. I dithered over whether to make a more humanoid avatar, but both Kittlen and Unity got on me and told me no, I should be proud of how I look, and not change myself just to fit in. So I stayed put—and now I’m on the roster there as fill-in DJ for when Kittlen can’t perform.”

I need to rant about this.

I’m djing there at the CFNM mansion.  I’m true to form, pushing my multitasking limits, when someone got into my inbox about how one of the managers was having a fit at her about her blue alien form.  This was well before Spitfire got her spots.

I was having none of that.

Sure, when I’m not DJing, nothing non-human shouldn’t be there, but I pointed out to the DJ manager, I’m not human!  I’m an ELF on Second Life, only because I can’t find an avatar that could be a pride and proper treecat. *harumph*  If Spitfire was going to be banned, so should I for my pointy ears.

Can we say “bye bye DJ events at the CFNM Mansion?”  I knew we could.

So, I screamed at him.  I accepted that 8391, as Spitfire called herself at the time, needed to be blue skin.  What was I going to say against that?  I had my Orion girl avatar still from 2008 (since purged).  I was the ONLY DJ at the mansion at the time, doing three sets a week, and by golly, my best patron at the time (8391 always tipped me at least 100L for Mr. Roboto, and more if I played other things for her) was NOT going to be ejected from the mansion.  Especially when she was potentially one of the DJs for the mansion!

I was having none of that.

So, the DJ manager went into fix it mode.  8391 came to my next set as a human female, and it was wrong. It felt wrong. She felt off. She wasn’t her bubbly self.

More ranting at the DJ manager’s ear.   By then, Unity got involved, and Spitfire became blue again.  The next event happened, and the manager that bitched was silenced.

Since then, over a year and a half later, Spitfire has blossomed into her pure awien form and I love her.  She’s also my filler DJ at the Mansion, and could, potentially, run events there any time she wanted.  The manager in question is still grumbly about it, but the DJ manager has our back.

I’m proud to be hers.