Time to put away the little things

My dom… my “daddy” my papi… my big guy…

He got real sick in early June and I still blame it on myself. I blame myself for riling him up and getting him all upset and angry at me. So angry, he passed out in the bathroom, and was found by his mum. He spent days in the hospital with some sort of bacterial infection. Then came back for 4 hrs, and was gone again.

And is still gone.

My real life has said “enough’s enough.” I had to drop my dom, whether I want to or not. I said goodbye to him after giving him one last chance that he screwed up royally.

One text a day was too much to ask from him to stay his girl. One text, one twitter, one instagram, one snapchat, one immessage…. Nothing. Not even an email.

If he had told me that shit had hit the fan and he needed to spend time away for the next while cause his family needed him, and he’d be out of contact, that’s fine. I would have waited. He didn’t. He disappeared and days later, he finally texted me. He would promise to be back online the next day. He wasn’t.

So, I was finally told to say goodbye. Then I begged for another chance for him.

He lasted 3 days.

He poofed again.

I had to tell him the full goodbye. I woke up to a text to him about 6 hrs later… “I fell asleep. I’ll be online later.”

Except…later never came.

I’m alone now… except my friends who are trying to help me put my broken heart back together.

So, I’m becoming a dolly on SL. Because Dollies are easier to put back together again when they’re broken. Dollies can be sex dolls and it doesn’t hurt them. Dollies… are dollies…

And all my little things… all the things I used to be little… are going to go bye bye…

Cause he didn’t want me anymore.. and I won’t let my heart get broken like that again.

Cause… if he had wanted me… he’d have fought for me…

right?