Originally posted in September on another site that doesn’t keep dates of when things were posted. Playing catch up.
Dominance and submission are twin gifts that can’t be given lightly. They are a yin and yang, a dance of partnership.
A delicate dance indeed.
I have far more experience, in general, of being a dominant, than Domlyskirts does. That does not mean that she is incompetent at it. She can be very loving, or very harsh. She has waited me out until I was able to tell her what was going wrong and why I was I was having a fit. It takes a firm conviction to do that.
Not all dominants are willing to wait until the submissive is ready to talk. Or are willing to take instruction from their submissive as well in order to be a better dominant. Domlyskirts is willing to wait me out, and has. It also takes a hell of a lot of strength on her part to take any instruction from me.
We did a couple of roleplays in the last few days. I was playful in the first one, until she emoted to me that she smacked my butt.
I am a survivor of multiple types of childhood trauma, and I have a congenital hip defect. That smack, if it had been anyone but Domlyskirts, would have resulted in claws coming out, especially in real life, and it has before. Instead, I emoted being a miffed cat dismissing their human.
That should have earned me a punishment right then and there. So I decided I had to teach her a lesson, and the best way I knew how was to show her.
I bet you’re thinking “ohhh boy, topping from the bottom! Kittlen’s in trouble.” You’re wrong. So very wrong. The last thing a dominant wants to do with their submissive is to cause them trauma or to aggravate a past trauma, or worse, bring on a PTSD episode. I had to teach her how I could be punished. I had done something wrong, and I thought about it while I was in real life. How do I go about explaining it to her how to get me to submit to a spanking?
So I came up with a plan.
I roleplayed how I set myself up to accept a spank. After I took the swats for being naughty, I should have thanked her, but I forgot myself. Domlyskirts pulled me up into her lap, and we discussed things.
In the roleplay, I had fallen to my knees at her feet facing her. I slid my body up along her lap and laid chest down, with my head to one hip, and my arms encircling her waist and hip. I wrote about how my butt was up in the air.
That position, A very vulnerable position, is also one where I can support my bad hip and keep it from slipping in real life. By going to Domlyskirts, instead of having her grab me, it isn’t anything reflective of what I went through in my mind, and I’ve used it before as a position to be in for spankings. It allows my entire back to be accessed, and my hair, and an easy way for my dominant to lift me up and look me in the eye.
She started by stroking my hair. I lifted my head, and spoke to explain, “I was never spanked punitively like this. You won’t get the freak out if I do this.”
Domlyskirts and I had a moment that I won’t share here. A very emotionally intense moment, before we continued on.
“I distracted you during the set to the point of you saying it on the air. That’s not good,” I began. I gulped back the words, trying to get my fingers to dance across the keyboard before I continued, “I needed to show you, this way. In real life, my hip won’t pop, and you can tell by my reactions, especially how hard I hold you.”
Then I gulped again and said, “I deserve a spanking.”
She sat there for a moment, feeling her power rise up within her. I knew she felt a thrill of having someone like me kneel at her feet, but this was new to her. To have a submissive accept a punishment was one thing, but to have me roleplay that I was in that position was more than simply thrilling to her, it caused her to have to fight one of her own demons back down.
“Ok, mine,” she said back to me, roleplaying raising her hand. “Ready?”
I nodded against her hip, and she struck my backside. Even the words felt as if she had actually struck me. I counted once, then twice.
I was expecting more, but she stopped. I pursed my lips and my eyebrows, waiting for her next words.
“You did catch the stream after I got disconnected, and thumped the radio once more for me when I was back online,” she spoke, and I nodded. She continued, “so I am minded to reduce your punishment accordingly. Plus, you came to me and confessed your error.”
I slid off her lap and onto my heels. She didn’t stop me. I had to speak now, my real life skin tingling as if it had actually been struck. “Spanking me in this way, I won’t fight back. I will take my punishment.”
“Noted, mine. Come here.” She lifted me up into her lap and let me curl up there.
“I can go over your knees,” I continued, “but you still have to wait me out. Grabbing me, or a slap like that from nowhere, it takes all my strength to not fly a fist.” Or bite. Or scream. Or thrash. Or worse. Yes, the abuse I suffered was that bad.
I kept on speaking as she nodded, “it might take a minute. It might take an hour,” I didn’t mention that it could also take days, “but psychologically, here,” I pointed to my head, “I want to be here, in your lap. And I can’t be if I am supposed to take my punishment first.”
“I admit, I’m still getting the hang of being a dominant,” she said, to me, “I have a lot still to learn.”
If she only knew – she has started on a path that is going to lead her on an intense journey.
“There are those who like being grabbed and forcibly pulled,” I do like being grabbed and pulled, but restrained, not struck. My wrists in one hand, unable to struggle out. It’s a game of ‘show me your strength,’ but the first strike will cause a problem, and turn me wild. “Those that do, like the power trip of ‘eek! I’m gonna so get punished.’ But, I don’t. Your silence until I comply is far more punitive than any punishment you could dole out.”
“Duly note, mine.”
Lesson learned… on both sides of the slash.