So I did a thing…

For months now, my wasband has been spinning a good yarn about how horrid his life was with me, and how horrid I treated him.

He’s such a wonderful storyteller.  Even I began to believe what he was saying.


It wasn’t true.

The one thing I was most annoyed about was how he was saying that there were no bills in his name.  The reason why this came about doesn’t really need exploring, but it happend because it happened and it was to keep him safe and happy.

Then, about two years ago, we needed a new car.

Or at least, a new to us car.

So, thanks to help from one of his brony friends, we drove off the lot in a 2005 Hyundai Tucson from one of the second hand dealerships around here.

Except, that car had some serious issues.  Just over a year into owning it, just after the warrantee had expired, even though I had complained about the problem at the start, the waterpump died.

That was $500 I didn’t want to spend.  I managed to get a rebate after the fact, and that was applied to the lease.

It was a leased vehicle.  We didn’t actually own it.  We were cosigners and both of us were equally in debt over it, and both of us were equally getting credit for paying for it.  While we were together, it was technically paid for out of his paycheque, but I would have to make sure the money was there for it.  The insurance came out of my disability stipend.

Then, just after That Day(tm), the alternator went.  That was a $500 bill I couldn’t afford when about 1/4 of the household income was gone.

So, I got a job as procurment personel for a courier company that delivers both in town, and up and down the island where I live.  Yes, I live on a big island that takes hours to go north and south on.  We deliver everything from nuts and bolts, to booze and cigs, and everything in between.  I love flower deliveries, even when I’m delivering sympathy ones, because they stink so good.  And luggage.  People are always happy to get their luggage.

This past winter was hard on the little Tucson.  The poor girl was doing her best, but it was a harsh winter for here.  Her muffler got damaged and that was a $600 replacement.  I was worried that the tires would pop because they were starting to wear down the tread.  I could feel a rattle in the stearing, I thought was a stone.  The oil changes were costing me twice what they should have because of how much driving I was doing.

Then, that little rattle became a grind.  The car also started to hiss a lot, especially when I stopped and cooled down for a while.  Then the rattle became a shake in the steering wheel.  Which got worse.

Then, last Friday, at 80kph, I could feel the Tucson straining.  I stopped, got out, did what I had to do, and carried on, but was down to 60kph.  I got out again, and did what I had to do, and the customer said that something didn’t sound right with my car, and he pointed at the right wheel brake.  “It shouldn’t be blue.”

I limped the car back to base, and handed in my equipment.  By then, my Tucson was doing less than 40kpm, and the shake of the steering wheel was more than visible.  I think I hurt myself trying to keep it straight.

I limped her to Canadian Tire… and $700 later, thanks to someone who truly loves me unconditionally, she came out of the shop on Monday, with warnings that she needed other repairs.  I started to see dollar signs fly by my eyes.  I was looking at over $3000 in maintenance and repairs over the next 6 months, just to keep her running.  Money I didn’t have, because it would come out in big blocks.  Money I wasn’t going to get back for over a year, if ever.

Yah, I can claim some of what I spent on the Tucson back during tax season.  Oh look, it’s tax season!  I really should file.

Anyway, one of the dealerships had a promotion.  I went there.

I came home with a 2017 Nissan Rogue, with more bells and whistles than I had expected.  She immediately got named Niro.

I think she was a cop car, or a cop’s off duty car.  Niro is Tardis blue, and I’m thinking of calling her my “transit and recreational distraction in speed.”  She has a bluetooth stereo, cruise control, and a lot more bells and whistles than I was looking for.  Really a lot.  She’s easy for me to get in and out of, and if I couldn’t do that, why get her?

What’s more, the costs of her maintenance are included under warrantee, including lifetime oil changes at the dealership!

I felt both sick and elated that I did this.

No longer was I paying on a lease that did not even guarantee me a vehicle at the end of it.  No longer was I paying a bill that he got the credit for it being paid.

My wasband had been lying to everyone.  This was a bill in his name, since he was the cosigner.  Since the separation, even though he promised to pay for at least one month, he never sent a penny in.  He lied through his teeth about how he was going to live up to his obligations.  He got three months off from paying child support.

Well, now he no longer has to worry about being a cosigner on a lease for a car that was becoming unsafe for his children to be in.  I no longer have a noose around my neck with his weight on it.

I don’t know how I’ll make the payments for this car, but I will.  I will figure a way.  I need a functioning car that isn’t going to bankrupt me with repairs for the next several years.

This car also means that I will be able to do more than just running around in town courier work.  I’ll be able to go up and down island too.  I’ll be a better subcontractor for the company.

I even have an offer of a different driver job.  My job rehabilitation people have found that I have some skills that could be used to get me gainfully employed too, not just piecework.  I am working 11 days out of 14 on average, but the Hyundai Tucson going down on Friday meant that I lost 5 days of work.

He says that I financially abused him.  If it was “financial abuse,” he’s just as guilty with his own manipulations.  He could have had a job at the company I work for years ago. He could have gotten a better job than twice-a-week paper bundle delivery.  He could have gotten off his arse and worked at something that brought in money.  He was the “abled bodied spouse in the house” too.

He told me once that he hated feeling like he was a gigolo, living off of my income.  As for bills and bank accounts, I thought I was protecting him with his permission and pleasure.  How could something that was what he wanted me to do become abuse?

I digress.

So, now, I am free of giving him the benefit of my hard earned work.  He no longer gets credit score boosts every month from a payment I make.

I’m truly free of him, and I get to make my own choices.  Live or die, I will get to keep Niro because of me, not him.

Thank you, Hyundai Tucson, for your service.  May you go on to live a happy life elsewhere.

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