Thoughts 14 days in

Pole Sitting

New Years was 14 days ago and I haven’t posted, so I thought I should hop to it. The new YMO place in SL has been hopping. Almost all hours of the day, someone is on the sim, and I’m not just talking me, pole sitting on an RLV trap, looking down at everydrone around me. There’s an AFK sex sim next door, and we’ve had a few issues with them.

We’re an open sim, and that means that we can have visitors from all over show up. Sometimes we enjoy going AFK too, but more remarkably, those visitors from the sex sim have come over and jumped on furniture occupied by one of our YMO peeps and used them.

This goes without saying that it is non-consensual when this happens, and if it does, the person will be automatically banned. As one of the YMO DJs, and more, I’ve been given outright eject and ban abilities. Which means, when the landowners aren’t on, I can step in for them. One of my friends was on their shit list, and I banned them myself after being told why. I’m not stepping in the middle of this mess between them, but banning him was necessary. Since I was willing to act impartially, the owners who are hosting YMO are pleased with me and my powers.

I haven’t met any griefers yet on the new sim. We’ll see what happens.

We are unofficially open. I’m a greeter, when I remember to. Spitfire and I have been broadcasting on the Whip from there. Why shouldn’t we? It’s our new “home sim.”

Spitfire decided to throw her hands up, smack on a construction belt and hard hat, and revamp her land. She put up a new house and I found the picture frame I had left for her to look at up in her skybox, now down on the ground level, in the new house she had put up. Under it was my papasan chair, which I had put in at the place of my pet bed. So, I decided that since I can use some prims, to put out a few things of mine.

My Room

This is my room, right? It has to be.

I pulled back my papasan chair and put out a lounge from the Bound Box instead. I also dropped two of my teddy bears, and two of my cats – kinda. The cats came from Jian. One is representative of the last cat I truly had – Three-Foot. The other is representative of both a cat I had and my cousin who she was named for. My cousin was murdered a couple of years ago, and the news report of her murderer’s conviction hit me hard New Years Eve. I might eventually pull them back in, but they need to be out right now.

Bitchqueen has been dealt with. I finally told her that in over 20 years, she hasn’t tried to reconnect with me. She could have brought me back into the family when my namesake was dying. She could have done all sorts of things to prove she was my loving mother. Instead, she played games, and in doing so, caused me even more trauma than ever before.

The one thing that hurt me the most wasn’t finding out about the genetic disease, but that everything she kept from me, everything I tried to get her to return to me, was gone. The only photos I have of my childhood are the ones I have. Everything else was damaged in the apartment building fire she was in.

I could not show her sympathy that she lost everything, because I too had lost everything that she had stole or kept from me in that fire. It’s insignificant what I lost in material possessions, but the memories the photos held.

Gone.

Spitfire told me that they are putting her father’s picture up all over their house to remember him how he lived. I told him to take those photos and make copies and give them to relatives and even the archives.

Photos… meaningless pieces of paper, except they are so full of meaning…

She’s gone from my life. I put my foot down and I will hopefully only hear from those who will call me and tell me she’s finally gone.

I’m very upset at Spitfire right now. At least, I think it’s Spitfire I’m upset with. It could be me, and she’s got the rebound from it. Either way, I can’t talk to her directly. It’s one of my worst traits. We believe it to be an autistic trait, but can’t be sure.

The short of it, until and unless I can calm down, I can’t talk to her, even if I wanted to. It sucks. I know she has a key that she can use that works, but I end up with headaches when she does. She’s undergoing reconditioning with YMO. I’m running my own preferred set of conditioning at the moment. It helps, but it isn’t enabling me to communicate directly with her.

I wish it could.

I also updated my profile picture for Second Life. I’m kinda proud of that. I have a group of DJs behind me and I’m getting requests to DJ for special events. That makes me supper chuffed. First new one? Sunday at 6pm. I’m going to have to get my set lists for that day done on Friday. DJing is what I love to do, and I’ll keep on shining where I love.

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